


Let Us Help Too

by Pastel_Aesthetics



Category: Sanders Sides
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders - Freeform, Coping, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders - Freeform, Cuddling & Snuggling, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Infantilism, Fluff, Healing, Infantilism, Logic | Logan Sanders - Freeform, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Morality | Patton Sanders - Freeform, Multi, Other, Sanders Sides (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepy Cuddles, Virgil needs a hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-18 21:51:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13690548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pastel_Aesthetics/pseuds/Pastel_Aesthetics
Summary: Dark, brooding, and angsty- that was Virgil. Though maybe, with some guidance he didn't have to be.





	1. Backround and a Plan

Dark, brooding, and angsty- that was Virgil. They were never traits he’d have given himself or at least realized he could be, that was until he started spending more time with the others. They were never really mean about it, or at least Patton wasn’t, but either way, Roman’s little jokes or Logan’s astute findings of what was wrong with him never ceased to sting, just a little bit. And it wasn’t like he wanted to be this way, he actually hated it. Being worried and anxious about almost everything almost all the time was exhausting, but that was his job-keep Thomas safe at all costs. And yeah, maybe he went a bit overboard sometimes…a lot of the times, but he couldn’t really help that either. The world is heckin dangerous, Thomas could get in trouble, or get hurt, or a thousand other possibly terrible things could happen. Heck, one night Virgil had contemplated the best way to escape a stampede of charging elephants from a zoo just because he’d heard something about that happening in the news the other day. He just wanted Thomas to be happy, but safe. But how he could communicate that caution with care, he had never really been able to tease out. So rather than try and give cautionary wisdom, Virgil opted for a dark, brooding, and angsty approach to keep Thomas alert. And if worrying incessantly all the time wasn’t exhausting enough, keeping up pretenses was even more so.  
For a while, that had been the tactic, until, the mask of gothic intention he wore slowly melded to his identity. It wasn’t like the others had been there yet to help him realize this, this was a long time ago, back when he was alone. Back when nights were long and cold in his room, where sleep was a daydream and daydreams were nightmares, cause if he dozed off he could miss something important. He wanted to shrink, to slink under his covers every night but he could feel himself growing daily. That’s when he met the others.  
Logan had been shocked to find him in the commons so early on in Thomas’s life, but put the pieces together quickly and kicked himself for not seeing it sooner. Roman hated him on sight, after all, he was to blame for all the, well, anxiety. But Patton was different, he didn’t judge and he didn’t criticize. He just welcomed him to the group, which made Virgil feel something warm, just for a second, before the brooding scared the feeling away.  
Now things were quite different between all of them, after working through a fair share of Thomas’s problems, the others started warming up to Virgil, and they were now to the point where they were all friends. Dinners, movie nights, general hangouts were normal and quite common. At first, Virgil had avoided these like the plague, so unfamiliar with genuine emotional connection that the mere idea of it scared him straight to his isolation chamber. In the beginning, it wasn’t a thing for Logan or Roman, though Patton always muttered something about checking in on him later. And of course, when Virgil eventually emerged later that night he would find a plate pizza or whatever the others had eaten outside of his door.  
But as of late, the other three were working harder to make sure that the anxious side was feeling more included in their little group. That made sneaking away at night harder. It wasn’t as though Virgil didn’t appreciate the gesture, but he knew it wasn’t genuine. Those nights were for them, the normal traits. He was, what had Roman called it, a dark side. Whether by chance or by choice Anxiety had turned into something dark a long time ago, and sure while a few things had been resolved and fixed, it was still his job to worry about everything, he was a regular Debby Downer. Even he felt gloomy in the presence of his reflection in the mirror, although months of accumulated dark circles don’t exactly help to make one appear cheery. The little get-togethers the other sides had every night were for happy people, not Virgil. They had never told him that, but years of keeping him out of the living room when they were watching one of Logan’s documentaries or another DVD from Roman’s Disney collection certainly didn’t tell Virgil that he was a welcome guest. But now, after working with him and getting to understand how valuable Virgil was, the others were trying to fix past wrongs and get Virgil to open up more.  
Logan had headed the measure from a, “purely pragmatic” approach. The way Logan viewed it was that due to years of essential isolation, Virgil had taken up the task of approaching every issue alone, no matter how large. Not only was this detrimental to Thomas, but also to Virgil, and given recent events they had all agreed that Virgil was just as important as everyone else. Now that everyone was working together, or at least trying to, that workload should be shared. The conclusion therefore would be that Virgil would be less, well, anxious. With some emotional support from Patton, a healthy dose of logic from himself, and creative solution making from Roman the issues could be sussed out in an orderly formation and avoid the long-standing process of Anxiety waiting till he’s about to have an attack before the others catch on to the problem at hand. Roman couldn’t deny that, despite his gloomy grimaces, he was really starting to care for the little worrier. And Patton, well Patton was overjoyed.  
“Another member of the family!” Patton had exclaimed.  
“Yes, well, considering we are not related, and in reality, we are in all measures just pieces of Thomas’s personal….” Logan started before giving up on his explanation and pinching the bridge of his nose, “Yes, another member of this figurative family.”  
Once they had reached the goal of their plan, they still needed to get the worrisome side to actually participate with them in the process of reaching that conclusion. What they really needed to do was get Virgil to heal and start to feel like one of them. \  
“Those years of rejection couldn’t have done much good for him,” Roman pointed out dejectedly, looking at his feet.  
“We didn’t realize…we didn’t have the proper information. We didn’t even know he was here, and I certainly couldn’t have...” Logan rambled before Patton cut it,  
“But we know now, and that’s what matters. We can’t change the past, but we can change we what do now” he stated.  
“Well…maybe we can. Change the past I mean, at least essentially, although we’d have to get him to agree to it, and the explaining is just…” Roman began detailing. Logan and Patton just looked at each other as the creative side started explaining the inner workings of the unknown plan aloud to himself.  
“I mean then there’s the whole figuring out what he would want, I mean, you know?” Roman suddenly asked the other two. Patton just smiled and nodded but Logan couldn’t stand not knowing.  
“What. Are. You. Talking. About” Logan said pointedly.


	2. Plans Unfolding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, fluff and stuff!

The past few weeks had been, in a word, strange for Virgil. Nothing was wrong, which he was already suspicious of, but things with Logan, Roman, and Patton were just…off. In the past, the four of them had just kind of done their own things. Hanging out and general “friend things” happened, sure. But outside of that, “to each, his own” was the main idea that had ruled the house for a while. It had gotten to a point that if Virgil dare need something from one of the other sides, he knew exactly where to go and what they’d be doing.  
Logan often stayed resigned to his library, if you needed to find him you and didn’t see him, you would discover him hidden under a stack of papers and essays from, lately, John Rawls. And if you found him like that, well it might be best to give him space. See, Logan went through weird periods of fanatic obsession about topics that would throw him into day-long study sessions about an often very specific topic. After the week that Logan dedicated himself to the wonders of Jeffersonian Ideology, Roman and Patton made sure that Redbull was never seen or consumed again, much to both Logan and Virgil’s dismay. Now if you went into his study, you were hit with the coffee-ink smell that permeated the perpetually chaotically organized study.  
Roman, however, was always off on some adventure or daydream in the worlds he went gallivanting in. The other three never really knew what he got up to in there, but if you walked by his door there was always a lot of yelling. He’d invited Patton to accompany him once, and when they got back Patton was slightly green and basically ran to his room. Roman then announced that if any of them came on the next adventure, that eating any of the purple tree's berries was a thing not to do. Safe to say Patton, or the other two, don’t go off with Roman much. So usually if Virgil needs something from Roman, he just waits until dinner to talk to him in order to save himself the abject horrors of the creative side’s whimsical fantasies.  
Patton, however, was often just in the living room or the kitchen. Most of the time, the TV would be playing Steven Universe or some other cartoon while he baked or cooked dinner for the others. No one knew how or where he learned it (or why Thomas still struggled with basic cooking) but Patton could whip up some of the most delicious, savory, rich concoctions you could think of. And whenever one of their birthdays rolled around, you could bet on him spending most of the day baking his triple layer chocolate raspberry cheesecake. Decorating had never been his forte, but no one really cared how the food looked after they started eating.  
And Virgil, well Virgil knew his sad state of affairs. An all-inclusive stay at the cold corner of Thomas’s mind, complete with chills, panic filled thrills and sleeping pills that he refused to use. Needless to say, the others didn’t come visit often, at least not like they did with each other.  
Which was why he basically jumped out of his hoodie when he heard a knock at his door one night. It was really late, and to his knowledge, he was the only one who stayed up this late  
“Come in?” Virgil said coughing, trying to cover up the squeak from a moment ago.  
To further the surprise, who would be at the door but Logan. Now of the remaining three sides, Logan was the only one Virgil could imagine staying up this late, given his past studious excursions. But even still, going on 4 AM was late, even for Virgil, so it was a shock to find the Logical side awake.  
Logan walked into the room wearing very basic PJs, some long navy blue plaid pants, and a simple white T-shirt. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, but his eyes were as sharp as ever, taking in every detail that they could from the room. He finally glanced down at the smaller side who was currently huddled in his nest of a bed. He noted the slight chill in the room and glanced around for a draft, and found none.  
“It’s rather cold in here,” he remarked, almost to himself.  
“Oh, uh, yeah. It’s always like that in here,” Virgil responded, still confused as to why Logan was in here at all.  
“You should really be in bed,” he said suddenly, snapping his gaze back to Virgil’s.  
Virgil just looked down and shrugged, not knowing how to articulate just how badly he would like to go to bed. When he glanced back up for a moment he found Logan had moved and was now only a few inches away from his face and was surveying it.  
Logan noted two things almost immediately, 1). Virgil is not wearing his makeup, and his undereye makeup is gone as well. 2). He may as well have been wearing it given how dark the circles under his eyes were.  
Logan gave a small gasp, and his eyes filled with concern, and Virgil knew exactly why. He hated this. The trouble with Logan, what had always been the trouble with Logan, was no matter how well he thought he was hiding the issues, Logan always saw right through him. Virgil was always seen by him, sometimes too seen.  
Before they were closer, Logan would rip Virgil a new one almost daily, detailing the faults and issues that Virgil created, was creating, or had created. It wasn’t out of spite, at least not most of the time, Logan cared about Thomas too. But being picked apart like that for years by someone who essentially knows everything that is best for Thomas, yeah that didn’t help the old self-esteem very much. Logan didn’t do that anymore, and he’d apologized as profusely and as sincerely as he could muster, but years of that kind of interaction leaves a mark. And now, no matter how good it was, whenever Virgil was around Logan he just felt naked and seen, like all of him and his mistakes, which might as well mean the same thing, were on display for Logan to view at his leisure.  
All this flashed through Virgil’s mind and before he knew it he felt tears rolling down his cheeks, silent, warm tears making tracks down his face. Logan, in the meantime, had estimated the poor anxious side hadn’t slept in a good few days and was suffering greatly. When he noticed the boy crying, he set into action and placed himself on the bed quickly but gently. Before Virgil knew it, he found himself being picked up and placed in Logan’s lap.  
His fight or flight instincts kicked on quicker than they had in a long time, but before he could decide which to choose, Logan gently wrapped one arm around Virgil’s side and placed the other hand on top of his head and started softly combing through his hair. The pressure, the warmth, the pure physical contact was intoxicating. He found himself unable to resist leaning into Logan’s body, just sitting there feeling the sweet comfort that Logan was giving him. In the back of his head, Virgil was running rampant trying to understand what was going on. The comfort wasn’t calculated or cold like he thought it would’ve been. It was, however very precise, a measured amount of calm and comfort that was the perfect amount to keep Virgil relaxed and at ease. Suddenly he noticed, during his crying, that he was moving. Logan was rocking them back and forth in a very slow, almost natural way. He looked up at him with questions in his eyes, Logan looked down and smiled sweetly.  
“Close your eyes,” Logan murmured.  
Virgil, who was feeling the weight of 3 days without sleep catching up with him, obeyed gladly. His breath naturally fell into the 4-7-8 breath routine he had to remind himself to keep daily. Slowly, with each rock, Virgil slipped into a deeper and deeper sleep.  
Logan noticed that the small sleepy side had suddenly turned into slack weight in his arms, and glanced down to see that Virgil had fallen into a deep sleep. Logan smiled to himself and kept rocking him for a few more minutes before gently laying him down in the bed, tucking as many blankets as he could find to wrap around the boy’s body to keep out the chill of the room. The chill, however, Logan noted, had subsided somewhat since he first entered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So some cliffhangers from the last chapter, sorry not sorry. I am not sure if this is late, early, or on time, but we'll just go with it. So many more people reading this than I thought this little drabble would get, Y'all are so nice and awesome! Thanks, kids! More fluff in the future I promise! Virgil is a sweet child that needs love and protection!


	3. Updates and Apologies

Hey humans! So, fun fact, college gets super busy. Which means I haven't been able to write as much here as I would like, so I'm super sorry for the sheer lack of updates and everything. I'm hoping to be able to finish the third chapter here sometime this week. Thanks for bearing with me, y'all!


	4. Logical Reflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy heck y'all are so nice and patient, but I WROTE STUFFS!

As Logan made his way back to his own room, he couldn’t help but reflect on the fact that Virgil had responded so positively to the comfort he had provided. The two of them had had a uniquely troubled past, given that they were almost constantly fighting over what was best for Thomas only a few months prior. That being said, perhaps the changes that he, Roman, and Patton were implementing had done some good to heal past wrongs. Though nothing close to the goal at hand. Which was why he had been nervous when it was decided that he should be the first to implement, or test, their plan.   
When Roman had first suggested the idea, Logan found himself more confused than when the Prince had been rambling to himself about it. Patton, on the other hand, seemed to understand what he implied almost immediately by mentioning the name, “infantilism”.   
“Oh, of course!” he had practically shouted upon realizing what the creative side was getting at.  
“What, what is this? What does that imply?” Logan stammered out trying to calculate the meaning of the new word.   
“Well it’s a variety of things, depending on the person,” Roman started, “In general though, it’s a return to the innocent times of life. A time when one is cared for and loved, supported in a way that usually comes from familial or parental structure. A relax of responsibility, to whatever degree one may find agreeable.”   
“Basically, Virgil becomes our kiddo to the fullest extent,” Patton shouted excitedly.   
“For what purpose? Logan questioned.  
“Think about it Teach,” Roman answered, “How long has Virgil been manning the panic express for? And how long has he done it alone?”  
“I mean, we can already see what a little support and care can do since we’ve learned his name and everything. So “logically” what can we expect to the fullest extent of love and support we can give him?” Patton chimed in.   
Logan sat with this for a moment. Pondering, he concluded the creative side made a decent point, however:  
“Virgil won’t like it,” he stated.   
Roman deflated a bit, as he had forgotten that 'little' piece.   
“Well we don’t have to rush the kiddo into it all at once, now do we? I think simple steps, try to gauge how he might feel about it can be a good place to start,” Patton suggested smiling.   
“Indeed. I think you are right Patton, and I think you would be an excellent person to begin that measure. You already exhibit, those quote on quote “paternal instincts,” Logan stated.   
“Well as true as that may be if subtlety is the aim, I’m not so sure I can accomplish that,” Patton chuckled softly, “I might smother the smol shadowling.”  
“Well, then I guess Roma-”Logan started.  
“Not a good idea there either Specs, Smoky Eyes and I have had our differences and I don’t think a cuddle from me is first on his list of “Things That Will Make Virgil Better” Roman interrupted.   
“Well one of us has to go in to try and estimate his responsiveness to the idea.” Logan sighed to himself.   
“Well, you’re still an option here Logan” Patton replied.   
“I am not an option, Patton,” Logan said flatly, “I am logic, I don’t have the emotional appeal that the two of you hold. In my view, the only reason this crazy idea of yours works is because of the fact I think Virgil if he responds well to it, can truly benefit from the experience. I play part in that manner but pushing the idea to him. Feelings aren’t my area of expertise.”   
“But that’s not all you are,” Patton argued.  
“It’s the fact that you are logical, that you see the benefit of the exercise, quite an emotional one at that, that makes you such a good candidate for introducing the idea to him,” Roman interjected.  
“Why?” Logan basically cried out.  
“Because Patton, he’s easy to read and we don’t want to scare Verge away before we get the chance to explain. And like I said, he’ll know something is up if I do anything like that with him without due reason.” Roman responded.  
“Logan, he trusts you. When he’s having issues or is worried, he goes to you for answers. I won’t deny that he’s come to me when he needs some comfort, and don’t tell him I told you this but it happens more than the kid cares to admit. But that coming from you, it’s like a doctor giving a prescription. It’ll mean more to him coming from you, or at least he’ll hopefully question it less” Patton finished.   
Logan struggled to come up with an argument against Patton’s line of reasoning and finding none he slumped his head forward in defeat.  
“I suppose, you may…correct. But like I mentioned this is not my field,” Logan shifted uncomfortably, “The reasoning behind all this I fully comprehend. Implementing it myself, that is a whole other area.”  
“That’s why we’re starting out small, Specs,” Roman said, “And it doesn’t have to be anything major or planned.”  
“I think the best place to start is just to watch him,” Patton interjected, “See what he does and see where you can set some things in motion.  
And that’s what Logan did. Thinking of the preliminary process more as data collection, he started a journal dedicated to Virgil’s habits; eating, sleeping, socializing, relaxing, etc. As he made notes on Virgil’s activities, a notable gap in his sleeping schedule became apparent early on. Going a day or more without sleep has dangerous ramifications on persons of normal health, and considering Virgil’s entire embodiment being Anxiety, a lack of sleep certainly wasn’t helping. After presenting his findings to Patton and Roman, they agreed that that was Logan’s in.   
The night Logan had decided to push the plan into motion had been long and stressful for him. Despite Patton’s reassurances, he was fearful that somehow his lack of conventional sentiments would disrupt the plan before it even got off the ground. But he reminded himself of all the benefits that this was bringing not only to Virgil but to them as a group.   
Logan had done research into the type of familial bonding exercises that were commonly utilized, trust building and what have you. And while this was, admittedly, wholly unconventional, it served a fairly poignant purpose. He acknowledged that roles in the proto-family were to be assigned, giving each a sense of purpose with regards to the whole group. That had been their problem since the beginning, working against each other as opposed to together. He and Roman had only just hashed out their own constant arguments and working towards working together. Doing that all together with Virgil being the center of their mission served all of them well in the various ways, many of which to be discovered.   
Carrying all that with him gave Logan the confidence to knock on Virgil’s door. And as he returned to his own bed for the evening, he couldn’t be more pleased with the outcome, and the prospects for the future endeavors they had in mind.


	5. Cold Turkey, Warm Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I needed to procrastinate on school, and what better what than to write a whole bunch of fluff! Don't worry though, this is the metaphorical calm before the storm that is the oncoming angst. So enjoy, and brace yourselves.

The next day Virgil woke up feeling more rested than he had in a long time. He glanced over at his clock to find that it was already around noon.   
“At least that was a solid eight hours or so” Virgil laughed softly to himself.   
It then occurred to him that he was alone in his room, not how he remembered falling asleep. His eyes darted around, and with no sign of Logan, assumed that once he had fallen asleep the Logical side had taken his leave for his own bed.   
“That is perfectly normal,” Virgil thought to himself. The only thing he couldn’t figure out then was why he felt, what was the word… abandoned? Nothing like that had ever happened with any of the other sides before, let alone Logan, so why did he all of a sudden feel so dejected about the fact he still wasn’t snuggled up in Logan’s lap like he was the night before?  
That was one line of thought Virgil did not enjoy going down right as he woke up. Instead, he opted for getting out of bed and heading downstairs to get something to eat, and some much-needed coffee- one good night of sleep doesn’t make up for about a week’s worth of sleep deprivation.   
He made his way into the kitchen and reached into the cabinet for his favorite cat mug, and only as he reached out to grab the coffee pot did Virgil realize there was no coffee pot. No, there was no coffee maker. He suddenly looked through the pantry to find no trace of any caffeine anywhere, no coffee, no tea, no soda, nothing.   
“We figured it might be best if ya went cold turkey, kiddo” Patton said from behind.   
Virgil, surprised by the paternal side’s sudden presence, whirled around, almost dropping the mug on the kitchen tile before Patton caught it.   
“Woah there, we wouldn’t want a Cat-astrophe, now would we?” Patton chuckled as he took the mug to the kitchen counter.   
“Why would you take away the only life source I have, Patton?” Virgil whined.   
“Well, you’re already a pretty wound up kid, Virgil. Adding all that extra energy doesn’t help your worrying one bit. I’m sure Logan can get you the factuals on it, but its just no good for you in general. Especially not the way you inhale the stuff!” Patton explained.  
“Well then what am I SUPPOSED to do instead? That’s the only way I’m able to stay awake throughout the day,” Virgil argued.   
“Well, how bout we have something more fun for a breakfast drink?” Patton suggested  
“It’s afternoon now Patton” Virgil retorted with a small smile.  
“Well, a waking-up drink then!” Patton smiled back.  
“What did you have in mind,” Virgil asked, as he moved closer to see what Patton was doing to his precious mug.   
“HOT CHOCOLATE!” Patton exclaimed excitedly, producing Virgil’s mug that now had about 2 solid inches of whipped cream above it, covered in rainbow sprinkles, cinnamon sticks, chocolate sauce, and a ridiculous crazy straw sticking out from the side.   
Virgil could almost feel the cavities forming.  
“Come on!” Patton said grabbing Virgil’s hand, “You and I can sit on the sofa and watch cartoons while you drink your cocoa.”  
All of Virgil’s attempts to resist were promptly foiled when Roman entered the room.  
“Well what have we got over here?” he asked with a smirk. The scene was quite comical, Patton trying to pull Virgil into the living room with one hand, cocoa in another, and Virgil holding onto the kitchen counter trying to escape Patton’s plan.  
“Virgil is feeling gwumpy cause he found out we threw out his coffee, so now I’m forcing him to drink sugar and watch cartoons instead and he’s not a happy camper about it,” Patton giggled.  
“Oh, well then allow me to be of some assistance” Roman said as he proceeded to untangle Patton’s grip on the anxious side’s arm. But before Virgil could escape, Roman picked him up and sat him on his hip as he carried him towards the couch.   
It all happened so fast, that it took a second for Virgil to even register that it had happened. He could hear Patton giggling behind him, and as he looked behind him, he realized he had to look down at the paternal figure. That’s when he realized he was being carried like a kid, and he started struggling to get down.   
“Roman lemme go. I’ll go to the dang sofa, but I can walk” Virgil protested loudly as he squirmed in Roman’s hold.   
But Roman was, unsurprisingly, quite a bit stronger than the smaller trait was.   
“While that may be, my dark and stormy knight, it appears you are in need of aide, And I, as charming as I am, must assist you and carry you there, as you will not go willingly,” Roman said triumphantly.   
A Virgil eventually realized all his attempts to get out of his grasp were futile, he slumped his head against the creative’s sides broad shoulders with a scowl and a pout. This was a mistake, as Patton could clearly see him still.  
“AWWWWWWWW!!” Patton cooed at the sight and quickly took a picture to capture the sheer adorableness of his Gloomy Gus. This, of course, prompted Virgil to moan in embarrassment, hiding his deep red blush on the shoulder of Princey’s equally red sash.   
Patton sat down first on the sofa and placed the mug on the coffee table in front of him.   
Then, much to the shock of Virgil, instead of being placed next to Patton, as Roman approached the couch, he turned around and adjusted Virgil so that he was sitting on his lap instead.   
Virgil looked from Roman to Patton, neither of them registering the insane absurdity of their sitting position like he was. He started to internally panic and began trying to wiggle out Roman’s (very comfortable) lap. Was this some kind of joke, were they making fun of him?  
But his worry died down, at least a little when he looked back over to Patton who was now smiling sweetly at him as he lifted the sugar-filled cup towards to Virgil’s lips.   
Virgil lifted his hands to go to grab for the cup, but Patton just softly lowered them back down, shushing him and proceeded to place the straw in the mug in Virgil’s mouth. Not having the energy, or to be honest the will, Virgil acquiesced and began to sip the warm chocolaty goodness. In that time Roman had flipped on a Disney movie, and Virgil directed his attention to the T.V.   
Throughout the movie, Patton would continually offer the mug back to Virgil, continually refusing to let him hold it himself. Roman, in the meantime, would run his fingers through Virgil’s hair softly.   
Every fiber of Virgil’s angsty persona was screaming at him that this was stupid, and his anxiety about just why Roman and Patton were doing this wouldn’t shut up either. But he couldn’t resist, and he was trying. But it was all so comforting and warm and loving, something he’d never felt before, except for last night with Logan. This, the cuddling and everything else, he wanted this-he couldn’t deny that, as much as he would like to.   
Around midafternoon, as both the cocoa and film were finishing, Virgil began to feel quite groggy. See, it was usually the constant coffee runs that let him live in a semi-productive state of constant sleep deprivation. But without the magic bean juice, Virgil started crashing hard. He felt his head start to sag and slumped deeper into the creative sides arms where he was barely supporting his own body. He could hear murmuring between Patton and Roman, something about,  
“He’s doing so well,” and “Nap time.”  
His last coherent thought came up as he felt himself being carried again, back into the general direction of his bedroom.   
“I’ll deal with these dorks’ crazy later,” Virgil thought with an internal chuckle. And before he knew it, he was out cold.


	6. More Apologies

Hello all! Again, I'm sorry that these next few chapters have been slow coming. I am in the onset of finals week, so last week, this week, and next week have been killing my soul ever so slightly. After next Friday I have so much more time and we'll be getting back into regular writing, but until then its gonna be radio silence. In absence of a chapter though, I thought I'd give you so related updates on something I'm working on. I won't give specifics (cause where's the fun in that) but I will say that when this fic is completed, a related fic in a very similar vein of exploring another side being little in gonna happen. Its gonna be so much more angst, and I'm super excited about it, and if y'all like some good hurt/comfort you should, hopefully, enjoy it. Wish me luck with my oncoming death, kids. Thanks, again, for bearing with me!


	7. Discoveries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Y'all, I know this is later than I promised but some much-needed recovery was taken post-finals this last week. But here we are with a super long chapter, so hopefully that helps a bit. Did anybody ask for angst, cause I did.

But the thing was, Virgil, didn’t deal with it later. He didn’t deal with it at all, he was too scared too. In the coming days and weeks, the interactions he had with Logan, Roman, and Patton started falling into this new pattern where they were far more cuddly and affectionate towards him. Movie nights were a great example, the movies they watched suddenly had become far more kid-friendly and mostly Disney, but Virgil chalked it up to Roman’s obsession, and the characters were starting to grow on him. In the past, they had watched an array of different movies, some Interstellar to satisfy Logan, and some National Lampoon to satisfy Patton, and everything in between. Their seating arrangement was informal but official, Logan would take to the armchair while Patton and Roman spread out on the couch with Virgil lying on the floor. These days though, everyone had started sitting on the couch together. It started with just Logan suddenly sitting on the far end of the couch, and slowly the three started getting closer together until they were cuddling. Recently then, Patton had asked Virgil to join them all on the “Cuddle Couch” as he cared to put it.   
Virgil, seeing how there was little to no room for him to fit had declined, but Roman and even Logan started pestering him about it too. Finally, Virgil had to explain to them the sheer lack of space for his body and Roman’s solution was to promptly pick Virgil up and set him in the middle of his lap. Much like the first time this happened, Virgil had had a minor internal freak-out until he had looked over to the other two sides and noticed their lack of concern regarding the new seating. This had become the norm, to the point where Virgil no longer even had to be asked, and he would switch whose lap he sat in, or he’d just lay across all of them, resting his head in one of their laps. Without fail, every time he did that he fell asleep and woke up having been carried to his bedroom.   
Virgil didn’t want to investigate that, he didn’t want to know the reasons behind it. Because he knew if he started to put more worry into that, he wouldn’t like what he found. Despite the recent advancements he’d made in dealing with his anxiety, Virgil was still anxiety. He worried about everything, and it wasn’t a surprise to find he could be worried about something as wonderful and pure as the new improvements with the others. But worry he did.   
It had started with the simple line of internal questioning  
“Why are they doing this? Why now? What did they do? What did I do?” Virgil had thought to himself one night.  
But those simple questions had long answers that he didn’t even know, but he could speculate. And his own ideas and scenarios about the weird changes that they had made recently never panned out in the way he wanted. He thought about going to Logan for help, he had always been good with Virgil and his “cognitive distortions”. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it, because this time the problems involved Logan. Soon enough though, his anxiety and his worries caught up with him and he needed something to help. So, he decided to see if Logan had a book or anything that would help. Logan’s library was huge, it had every possible topic, subject, genre available. If Virgil couldn’t find something in there to help him, then nothing would. The only issue was making sure Logan didn’t know, otherwise he’d ask questions that Virgil did NOT want to answer.   
So he made a plan. Virgil had been going to bed at a recent hour these days, or at least more reasonable at around 1:00 AM versus 3 or 4 in the morning. As a result, the others had stopped waiting up for him to go to bed and everyone was asleep at the same time. the idea was, then, that when everyone was asleep Virgil would sneak into Logan’s study to find a book, sneak out, read it, and return it before anyone woke up.   
And that’s exactly what he did.  
At around 1:30 AM, when Virgil was sure that the other three had long been asleep, he tiptoed out of his room and down the hall into the library. He closed the door behind him before he turned the light on, to avoid shining it into the other’s rooms and causing suspicion. The only issue was that, even though the wide selection was quite helpful, Virgil didn’t really know where to start looking. So he just started wandering around seeing if anything seemed like it would fit the situation. He had been wandering around for about 10 minutes when he looked over to Logan’s desk in the middle. It was, as usual, a mess filled with littered papers, his computer that he’d forgot to turn off, and pens scattered all across the table. Something new, however, that Virgil had never seen was a thick brown leather notebook that had obviously been written in quite a bit considering the wear and tear of the thing. He knew he shouldn’t, he did, and he hated to pry, but Virgil was desperate for anything that might help. And well, it did. But like he had feared, it wasn’t the answers he wanted.   
Page after page of graphs, charts, notes, facts, correlations, hypotheses, test, experiments, and conclusions about Logan, Patton, and Roman’s plan was on full display for Virgil to read. Everything, down to the way they started having breakfast, Logan had chronicled in regards to gauging how Virgil reacted to the infantilism style treatments. Virgil couldn’t help it, he started crying. He kept it quiet, stifling his sobs so the others wouldn’t hear him. And before he could think of another plan, he took the journal and ran back to his room locking it shut. He couldn’t stop reading it, it made so much sense now what they were doing. What the journal didn’t say though, was why. But Virgil had plenty of fun that night wrestling with what those reasons could be until he settled on the most obvious one. He was doing a bad job.  
He knew that he was a bother sometimes, that his incessant worrying could get annoying and certainly problematic, but he didn’t think it was that bad. He thought he was getting better. Apparently not. They must’ve done this to get him out of the way, if they could baby him enough, minimize his impact enough, then they wouldn’t have the number of problems they did anymore. And to be fair, Virgil had thought to himself, it worked. He had let his guard down recently, and with the increased amount of attention, he was certainly calmer than he used to be.   
“Well,” Virgil said softly to himself, “If they want me gone, then I’ll stay gone. For real this time.”  
And silently vowed to never come out of his room again. That night though, he cried himself to sleep.  
The next morning, when Patton was making breakfast he called to the others.  
“Rise and shine sleepy heads, the griddle is fired up and I’m making PAAAANCAAAKES!” Patton sang out into the mindscape. Slowly but surely, Roman and Logan made their way out to the kitchen, but Virgil never showed up.   
“Maybe he just had a rough night and he’s sleeping in,” Roman suggested, looking at the empty chair.   
The others silently nodded, and finished breakfast and started their respective days. Around lunchtime, the same thing happened, where Virgil didn’t show up when he was called.   
“Ok, maybe just a really bad night. I mean its only noon now. He’s slept in later before.” Patton prompted worriedly glancing at Virgil’s empty chair, again.   
But they all felt the worry, this was uncommon for Virgil as of late. He rarely missed mealtimes anymore, and he’d been sleeping so well as of late. So, when dinner time came, and there was still no sign of Virgil, they all practically stampeded towards his door. Patton knocked first trying to bribe him out with brownies or cookies, or brownie cookies. But the door stayed silent. Roman tried next with an impassioned plea for his “Dark Prince” to emerge and grace them all with his presence, to no avail.   
Finally, when Logan knocked he just asked for Virgil to come out simply and to the point, explaining how going without food could not be good for him. But despite all their pleading and asking, they didn’t hear anything.   
From the inside of Virgil’s room, Virgil was bawling into his blankets to try and muffle the sounds so the others wouldn’t hear him. When he was sure they had finally left, he let himself sob freely. As much as it hurt to feel like a burden, and have all those fresh wounds reopened, he’d never expected the feeling of loss that came with sanctioning himself off from the others. The closeness that he had come to feel for them was unexpected. But what was worse was the fact that he realized he wanted what they were giving him.  
Spending all day alone in his room had given Virgil plenty of time to scour the internet for information about everything. The words ‘infantilism’ and ‘age-play’ and ‘little’ became common search terms in his history. He tried to absorb as much information about it as possible, Tumblr being a surprisingly helpful resource. And after all his research, the only conclusion Virgil knew he could reach was that he loved this, he was a little, he liked what they had been doing. And it hurt more than anything to separate himself from that. So when Patton had first knocked on his door it took every fiber of his being not to run out to hug him, all of them. He wanted to feel safe, loved, and held. But he couldn’t face that, the humiliation, what he thought was the reason why this was started in the first place, kept him in his bedroom.   
The other three couldn’t figure out what had happened, everything had been going so well. They talked it over for hours, trying to deduce what the possible reasons could be. But they couldn’t settle on an option and finally decided to sleep and try again tomorrow. On his way back to his room, Logan passed his study and decided that, given the circumstances, it was best to jot down the recent developments in the approach. But as he looked around his desk, in his drawers, on the floor, in the armchair, he couldn’t find his journal. He basically turned the whole library upside down looking for it, until he realized.   
“GUYS!” Logan yelled at the others,  
Roman and Patton came barreling down into the study, see what the heck all the commotion (from Logan of all people) was about.   
Logan sat them down, telling them about the lost journal, what was inside, and where he thought it might be. It all made sense. They knew Virgil wouldn’t have liked the idea at first, but they had planned on the best way to deliver it so it sounded more appealing to the little worry wart. The journal was almost the counter suit to their plan, all fact, no feeling. Everything that would send Virgil into a panic attack. Which it did.   
“What do we do now?” Patton asked shakily.   
Logan and Roman paused for a moment, thinking on the best way to handle it.   
Suddenly, Virgil heard another knock at the door. It’d been a while since the others had tried to get him out the first time, and to be honest he wasn’t surprised they were trying again. But the tug on his heartstrings, begging him to go out and talk with them, hug them, listen to them, was just as strong as before.   
The knock though was much quieter this time, and it was Logan who spoke.  
“Virgil, sweetie. I know you have my journal.” Logan said plainly  
And with that Virgil broke. He didn’t even have time to muffle his tears with his blankets again, and the others could hear his whimpers clearly from the other side of the door.   
“Honey, its ok.” Patton tried to soothe, as much as he could from the opposite side of the room.  
“Virgil. darling, you must let us explain. Whatever you’re thinking, whatever you are worried about, you have nothing to fear. We mean no harm by any of this.” Roman pleaded.  
“Please, sweetie, just let us explain.” Logan finished.  
It was all quiet, except for Virgil’s tears, which got louder and louder as he gradually moved closer to the door. Eventually opening it just a crack to look at their faces, because if he was honest he just wanted to see them.  
From the little sliver of light that shone into his room and onto what they could see of his face, his eyeshadow was tracking long, watery black lines down his face. Some smudged from where it looked like he had wiped his eyes with his tears. His eyes were red and watery, still brimming with unshed tears. The other three physically slumped, the sight was heartbreaking.   
“Honey, can we come in?” Patton asked softly.   
Virgil looked at the three for a moment, obviously thinking. And before he could help it, he threw open the door and crashed into Patton hugging him. He was sobbing into his shoulder, even harder than before. He was faced with all his embarrassment, the fact that he had acted on his newly found deep dark desires, and here he was bawling like the baby he wanted to be so badly at this point.   
He didn’t realize that he had, in between sobs, said that all out loud.   
Patton only shushed him softly and maneuvered the hug into a position where he lifted Virgil up and carried him into his room, with Logan and Roman trailing behind, closing the door softly behind them


	8. A Final Update

Hey y'all, remember me? Maybe not cause I've been essentially dead for the last 9 months or so...school was crazy, then summer was somehow even crazier, and the then last semester was pure insanity in terms of how busy my schedule is. So with that, I've gone through my fic (cause I kinda forgot what I wrote) and I don't think I have much else to add here anymore. By that I mean, the story is kinda done for me, but a few of you have reached out previously asking if y'all could continue this story, and by all means please do just link me to it or whatnot I wanna see what y'all do. But for now this story is done for me, thank you to all of y'all for reading this. This was my first fanfic ever and to have so many people be so into it was just awesome. I hope to write more stuff in the future, whether it's in this fandom or the same kinda themes is still unknown. But again, thank you all for reading and good luck with all y'all do this year!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is my first attempt, mostly just cause I haven't found a story like this one yet and figured I might as well give it a shot. "Postive constructive criticism" please. :)  
> https://pastel-aesthetics-blog.tumblr.com/


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